Inexpilcable American Gladiators Movie Gets A Writer

It remains a mystery how the ultimate cheeseball game show American Gladiators will be turned into a movie, but screenwriter Peter Iliff apparently has an answer for us. According to Variety he's been hired to write the bigscreen American Gladiators movie, which will feature all those old familiar characters like Turbo and Blaze, but turn them into superheroes. Because, obviously, inventing new superheroes out of meathead TV competitors is a good idea. I love American Gladiators as much as the ...

Avatar: French Poster, 3 Hour Running Time Confirmed, Soundtrack Track Listing Reveals Entire Plot

Back in 1999, when I was still looking forward to Star Wars Episode I - The Phantom Menace, I attempted to avoid any and all spoilers. I wanted to go into the movie not knowing what happened, partly because I figured that we all know what eventually happens, and I'd at least like to be surprised with some of these new characters. While doing the rounds at the local mall, The Natick Mall (which has since become yuppified and renamed "The Natick Collection"), I was checking out some extremely overpriced movies at Sam Goody when a friend approached me with the soundtrack to The Phantom Menace. He handed it over to me and said, "check out track Track 16!" And before thinking, I looked, to see the words "Qui-Gon's Funeral". I'll always remember that moment, because that was the moment that the Phantom Menace Soundtrack spoiled the entire film for ...

First Shot From THE AMERICAN

Clooney’s taking aim…at our excitement.

Okay, as lame as that may have been, there’s not denying how cool this first shot is from George Clooney’s upcoming film, THE AMERICAN.  It comes to us today courtesy of Collider, who had a man out at the American Film Market last week to snag up images just like this one.

In the film, Clooney plays a skilled assassin.  After a botched job, a lover ends up dead, and the assassin vows that his next job will be his last.  It could very well be just that, as he finds himself letting his guard down.

To this…

Paul Blart Director Remaking Short Circuit

Remember at the beginning of the year, when Paul Blart: Mall Cop was a sign of everything that was wrong with American filmmaking and the taste of moviegoers? It was such an innocent time before Transformers 2, wasn't it? Anyway, Carr has escaped the label of "Director Most Hurting America" this year, and he's trading in that "credibility" to make us all hate him again. Yes, he's directing the Short Circuit remake. Prepare the pitchforks. According to Variety, the remake plans ...

Paul Blart: Mall Cop Director to Helm Short Circuit Remake

We've known that Dimension would remake Short Circuit, and we've known that Robot Chicken writer Dan Milano would be scripting. Now we've got a director: Steve Carr. Who? How about this: he's the guy who directed Paul Blart: Mall Cop. I haven't seen Paul Blart: Mall Cop. It might be more funny than a lot of people would like to admit. (I doubt it, but trying to be fair here.) But knowing that I have no interest in seeing Paul Blart, I'm looking at Carr's resume to get an idea of what to expect. Maybe Paul Blart wasn't really his fault. Let's see...we've got Next Friday to start with. Funny enough, not a bad start. Then...uh-oh. Dr. Doolittle 2. Daddy Day Care and the very aptly titled Are We Done Yet? Yikes. I'm glad I had no particular ties to this remake in the first place. Dan Milano replaced original creators ...

Mall Cop Director to Remake Short Circuit

Dimension Films has signed Steve Carr (Paul Blart: Mall Cop) to direct "Short Circuit," the remake of the 1986 sci-fi pic that went on to have a sequel two years later.

Take Cover, The Twilight Cast Tour Is Back

Last year, I hit the mall down the street from my house, just to get some ice cream. That's when I learned about the sheer magnitude of one Robert Pattenson. As I TRIED to get into the double doors of Orland Square Mall in Chicago... I had to shove my way though a crowd of emo-goth chicks. As I did so, I caught a look at the man they all so wanted so much. I was disappointed. Up your standards ...

The Monroeville Zombie Walk of 2009 and Coinciding Monroeville Zombies Museum

A video has popped up documenting the recent Monroeville Zombie Walk, an annual event celebrating the Pittsburgh town's ties to George Romero's Dawn of the Dead, the director's classic cinematic ode equating mall culture to the undead. This year also saw a Monroeville citizen, one with a very personal connection to Romero's original Night of the Living Dead, opening a zombie museum inside that very mall. Rather awesomely, it includes "a coffin, rigged with speakers and hydraulics, to experience a ride to a cemetery and burial" that can be experienced for a decaying three bucks U.S. Progress. The video contains a chat with the museum's curator, as well as lots of decaying mall goers, and is posted below... As seen above, the museum's "Maul of Fame" was christened with the bloodied hands of actor Ken Foree, who starred in Dawn and memorably got iced by Michael Myers in Rob Zombie's Halloween ...

Abu Dhabi Diary Day 3: Iraqi Middlebrow and the Mall Multiplex Complex

I’m at the film festival. I’m at the mall multiplex. I’m at the combination film festival venue/mall multiplex. So I tweeted from the Toronto Film Festival this year, in a quick-wink rewrite of Das Racists avant-retarde one-liner critique of contemporary global capitalism and cultural homogenization, “Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.” Twitter is rarely a venue [...]

Top Ten Working American Directors

Top Ten Working American Directors A list like this is tricky to the point of madness. However, I'm going to save you the trouble by saying it right here, right now: Most of the choices on this list are obvious. There's a reason why certain names continually pop up whenever conversation drifts toward great American [...]