Hey buddy, my face is up here.

Not only am i blind... I have absolutely no feeling in this hand.....

Please--don't let them hang this hammock from my forehead.

Through the power of Christ you are HEALED!

It's not what is over there, it is what's here that counts.

If love is blind sweetheart, your lingerie makes great braille.

I'm sorry, you were just too old for the Kirsten Dunst role in Eternal Sunshine, not matter how cute you are.

Babe, I'm blind, but I didn't loose my sense of smell. If you're not going to take a bath I need you to keep back.

where is it where have they gone?!?

a little lower honey.

Ah. I definitely recognize these...

Take your hand off me Joaquin

I know I am blind, but seriously Julianne you really need to get some sun!

I'm sorry you and me are done professionally.

Yeah, blind my butt.

and this is how you defend yourself against christian bale

Yea it would be totally sick, man, I'd just like hit you with my palm like this and you'd be all like woah dude I'm totally blind now you totally blinded me with your awesome ninja powers dude.

...Are you serious?

Free Breasts Exam. Who's next ?

is that your boob?

Look just, calm down okay? I'm sorry I peed in your coffee, I really am. But come on, I'm blind . And while we're on the subject, your not blind right?, like you can see can't you?.......Ok, then would you mind telling me why you haven't just gone down to Ward Three and taken the gun from that nut job?.....I mean you can see yet the bartender still has the pistol and there's crap all over the floor. Either get with the program or take a spork to your peepers, seriously!

You know I've always loved the look of studied dishevelment on you, but now you have taken it a step too far, into the distasteful realm of bedragglement.

My God, what happened to you?! I used to watch you on Real Housewives Of Orange County. Did your sugar daddy finally see that episode where you got drunk and had sex with the neighbor's thoroughly unattractive son?

Do I look bad?
NO my dear, you look terrible :)

Dear Lord, Julianne! I had no idea the economic crisis was that bad in Beverly Hills.

Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!

Everything will be fine; just remember that we can't change the world unless we change ourselves.

Shhh. Don't you worry. I got up, shaved, did my hair, hung up the laundry, and put on this tuxedo, all on my own. So don't you worry one second about me.

hold on, no no , this is going to be great, i learned this at a benny hinn convention...

Jeffrey, I hoped blindness would cure your wandering eye but now you have wandering hands.

Good, it's you. We only have a couple minutes before my wife comes out of the bathroom. I think I hear a an empty space for us back there.

its a good thing she cant see otherwise she would know it was me and not fred, mwuhaha

Ever since the day we first met i knew it was love at first sight.... wait a minute im blind!?!?!?!

Judo CHOP!!!!

Oh Honey! Im sorry, Im looking for Alice.

'do i make you horny, baby?'

I may be blind, but I can shoot rope out of my forehead now.

I thought that being blind would make you look better!!! I thought wrong!!!! Your still ugly!!!!

Julianne, belive me when I tell you that I am the next Marlon Brando...no really that's what people have been telling me for years!

If you look, I'll punch you.

i feel something......

Stop! Don't make me pull a Chris Brown on your ass woman!

Hell I'm blind, I don't care if I win or not I won't be able to watch the damn thing

whatever you do, please don't them make a movie out of our story.

and with the budda plam i was able to beat the Ann Coulter

Remember when I told you I was blind and that in order to read people I had to place my hand on their chest......I lied.

*Thinking to herself*: I know this guy really isn't blind... he just likes coppin a feel!

I'm blind and you're built like a boy...

"It's okay! I'm blind!"

No really, I've done this before, however, in order for my telepathic powers to exhibit full use, I'm serious, the shirt has to go!

I realize I am blind, but would it have killed you to put on some makeup?

The ONE INCH punch!!!! Ready?

Your the only female here?!!! Prove it!!!!!!!

I think we not became blind. We were always blind. Blind though we see. People who can see but not see

your heartbeat provides light in this darkness!!

Hon, could you point me to the limbo clothesline?

"Hey dude! do you know were that girl just went?"

"I just touched your breast and I jizzed in my pants!!"

"Must...pull...cord...from...forehead...plug...with... thumb."

You're not a doctor! AND I feel fine! Please will you stop trying to "see if my heartbeat is regular"!

The breast bone's connected to the...hip...

"This is how blind people say hello."

Sorry, I keep forgetting. What does your shirt say again?

Wait.....did you just say "big meat?"

What do two bumps mean in braille?

Daddy hungry for milk...on nom nom nom nom

Are you realy a girl? Cause you feel like a man!!!!

"Man it's really really cold in here honey. I'm going to feel around for the heat switch... I think I found it.. Oh sorry hun,... Now I found it...... Oh wait sorry again."

We're going to make it through this. Even though I'm blind I can still
see your beauty, kindness and passion. We'll find a way!

"Pai Mei taught you the five finger point palm exploding heart technique?" Yes. Why didn't you tell me? Because you look like Courtney Love after Taco Bell and lots of laxatives.

"Wait...did you just call me Carlos?"

Let me show you what I learned in martial arts class... hold on, give me a second...

E.T. phone home.

KALIMA!!!!

Please dont leave me like they left Stevie Wonder at the Grammy's, singing by himself as everyone was walking out.

Quivering Palm Technique! *explode*

Everyone, I've destroyed the Alpha, epidemic over. You may now refer to us as "king".

"...Where are you touching me??"
"Haha, you really can't see, can you?"

Stop. It's over between us. I've felt someone more attractive.

"glad your're blind so you can't see the tent i just pitched"

I can't believe you nimrods didn't award me with a DVD! No more free one-liners for you! No more participation in stupid contests for me!

"Blindness :: a legitimate reason to feel up women"

'Sorry i blind but im still a man'

'Hm im still a little rough on my braille what do those two dots mean'